Your story of “Terrible memories” is truly heart wrenching. And sadly, not so uncommon (I can attest to that. I will later on post on Substack an essay about “Incestuous behaviors”). I can only wish for you and your wife that YOU can find peace in your minds in the present. That is not so easy, I know, when the anger and the pain is carving their way through your hearts. Yet, I believe it IS important to find that peace, and I was relieved to read that the burden you carried for so long had lifted from your heart. Personally, I also find that it helps if one can separate the ACTS and the PERPETRATOR. There are acts that are unforgivable, justifying all the anger and anguish. Then there is the perp, the person. It doesn’t help to “evilize” him, because it draws you into that negative energy field. For one’s own sake, forgiveness and turning the burden over to a higher power helps. And we may find, as we age, that even very hard life experiences have gifts for us hidden within them.
Thank you so much for your compelling remarks. If we didn’t have our faith, I think that terrible situation we were in could have ended our 57-year marriage. I appreciate you and your heart felt comments.
I wish I could say something helpful and healing Pepper ❤️🩹 You two have been amazing in your resilience. It is somewhat of a miracle that our Meghan is able to be so close and supportive of you and Gwen❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Your story of “Terrible memories” is truly heart wrenching. And sadly, not so uncommon (I can attest to that. I will later on post on Substack an essay about “Incestuous behaviors”). I can only wish for you and your wife that YOU can find peace in your minds in the present. That is not so easy, I know, when the anger and the pain is carving their way through your hearts. Yet, I believe it IS important to find that peace, and I was relieved to read that the burden you carried for so long had lifted from your heart. Personally, I also find that it helps if one can separate the ACTS and the PERPETRATOR. There are acts that are unforgivable, justifying all the anger and anguish. Then there is the perp, the person. It doesn’t help to “evilize” him, because it draws you into that negative energy field. For one’s own sake, forgiveness and turning the burden over to a higher power helps. And we may find, as we age, that even very hard life experiences have gifts for us hidden within them.
Thank you so much for your compelling remarks. If we didn’t have our faith, I think that terrible situation we were in could have ended our 57-year marriage. I appreciate you and your heart felt comments.
Pepper Miller
I wish I could say something helpful and healing Pepper ❤️🩹 You two have been amazing in your resilience. It is somewhat of a miracle that our Meghan is able to be so close and supportive of you and Gwen❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
You know that our Meghan is like our own daughter, Meg.