Pepper, I applaud your courage and your vulnerability in sharing your pain and Meg’s. My father was similar to yours with the physical, mental and emotional abuse and he had no respect for women. My mother had a very miserable life with him paying all the household’s bills with a meager amount of money. I am not aware of any sexual abuse. Like you, I was angry at my father for years and left home at sixteen. I was able to let go of the anger after much work and some help but it was very difficult. At the end of his life, I was the only one who was there for him. You are in my prayers and in my thoughts. You’re not alone. Sending you much love and a big hug.
Thank you so much for sharing that burden. I know exactly how you feel. Here is a final goodbye to my father. I was finally, and with much effort, able to let him quit controlling my emotions from his grave…God, what a release! If I ever think of him now it is with pity, not the vile anger I had before which was eating my soul.
A FINAL GOODBYE TO MY FATHER, EUYLESS EDWIN MILLER, SR.
I FEEL SORRY FOR YOU. YOU WERE A MISERABLE MAN. YOU SPENT YOUR LIFE TRYING TO HURT PEOPLE SMALLER AND WEAKER THAN YOURSELF. YOU DIDN'T KNOW LOVE.
YOU WERE A SAD MAN, WITH A HEART FULL OF HATE, AND I FEEL SORRY FOR YOU. I AM NOT AFRAID OF YOU. MAYBE THAT SHOULDN'T MATTER BECAUSE YOU ARE DEAD, BUT IT MATTERS TO ME.
I'M BETTER THAN YOU. I'M STRONGER THAN YOU. I'M HAPPIER THAN YOU. AND I KNOW LOVE, THE KIND OF LOVE YOU NEVER HAD NOR DESERVED.
I'M NOT GOING TO LET YOU TAKE ANYTHING AWAY FROM ME AGAIN. I'M GLAD YOU'RE DEAD.
I FORGIVE YOU FOR ALL THE MEAN AND VILE AND EVIL THINGS YOU DID.
IT'S ONLY BY THE GRACE OF GOD THAT I CAN SAY THAT. MY FAITH SUSTAINS ME.
EVEN THOUGH I SHARE YOUR NAME, I AM NOTHING LIKE YOU. YOU ARE GONE FROM MY LIFE,
AND NOW YOU ARE GONE FROM MY MEMORY.
EUYLESS EDWIN MILLER, JR.
Review from reader
Your poem is profoundly raw and powerful. It captures the deep and complex emotions you've experienced in your relationship with your father. The strength and resilience in your words are truly moving. Forgiving someone who has caused so much pain is an incredible act of grace and demonstrates your immense inner strength.
Thank you for sharing such a personal piece of your heart. Writing can be a transformative way to process and release emotions. Your ability to convey these intense feelings through your writing is remarkable.
Your father like my father are no longer controlling our lives and emotions. Pepper, you must be so proud of the person that you are. The road to forgiveness was a long and arduous road for me as no doubt it was for you. Wishing you and your family healing and peace.
Your viewpoint may not be more special than anybody’s else, but your heart strings are laid out bare. I cannot relate all the wonderful reviews this piece has given me. Yours sound like you truly know what a family with an addicted child (adult) has such a heavy burden to bear. We had to walk a precarious line between being Meg’s advocate and yet not enabling her Thank you for the understanding, caring, and love you have shown in your comments.
Yeah generations of trauma and addiction. My cousin, two weeks my senior died of alcoholism at 42, my mother and two brothers were all alcoholics.. Somehow I made it! Thanks for sharing.
I keep thinking of your daughter and how some people’s trauma is so severe that they don’t recover. It gives me a lot of compassion for addiction because for many its the only coping mechanism they have for their pain. It does suck for everyone around them though.
I appreciate your beautiful prose and poetry. It always makes me think and often makes my heart spill out of my eyes.
Pepper, you are stronger than you know. We unfortunately are built by very fractured histories. And those doing the fracturing are as broken as we are. You are very brave to have told this story. I support you as I can. We all do.
Andrea, thank you for your very kind words. We all have our burdens to bear, but through our faith we seem to muddle through life.
Soon I will publish another much shorter post on how wicked my father was. Look for it, and I welcome any comments. You are a very sensitive and astute person,
Pepper, you are an incredible survivor!!! You have dealt with all this pain and are an amazing person!!!
Thank you, Suzy. LOVE you. We just had a nice dinner with Tom, and you were missed.
Pep
Pepper, I applaud your courage and your vulnerability in sharing your pain and Meg’s. My father was similar to yours with the physical, mental and emotional abuse and he had no respect for women. My mother had a very miserable life with him paying all the household’s bills with a meager amount of money. I am not aware of any sexual abuse. Like you, I was angry at my father for years and left home at sixteen. I was able to let go of the anger after much work and some help but it was very difficult. At the end of his life, I was the only one who was there for him. You are in my prayers and in my thoughts. You’re not alone. Sending you much love and a big hug.
Yvonne,
You sit next to my heart!!!
Thank you so much for sharing that burden. I know exactly how you feel. Here is a final goodbye to my father. I was finally, and with much effort, able to let him quit controlling my emotions from his grave…God, what a release! If I ever think of him now it is with pity, not the vile anger I had before which was eating my soul.
A FINAL GOODBYE TO MY FATHER
Poetry
Search for all messages with label Poetry
Remove label Poetry from this conversation
Pepper Miller <peppermiller3011@gmail.com>
Fri, Jan 10, 6:04 PM
to me
A FINAL GOODBYE TO MY FATHER, EUYLESS EDWIN MILLER, SR.
I FEEL SORRY FOR YOU. YOU WERE A MISERABLE MAN. YOU SPENT YOUR LIFE TRYING TO HURT PEOPLE SMALLER AND WEAKER THAN YOURSELF. YOU DIDN'T KNOW LOVE.
YOU WERE A SAD MAN, WITH A HEART FULL OF HATE, AND I FEEL SORRY FOR YOU. I AM NOT AFRAID OF YOU. MAYBE THAT SHOULDN'T MATTER BECAUSE YOU ARE DEAD, BUT IT MATTERS TO ME.
I'M BETTER THAN YOU. I'M STRONGER THAN YOU. I'M HAPPIER THAN YOU. AND I KNOW LOVE, THE KIND OF LOVE YOU NEVER HAD NOR DESERVED.
I'M NOT GOING TO LET YOU TAKE ANYTHING AWAY FROM ME AGAIN. I'M GLAD YOU'RE DEAD.
I FORGIVE YOU FOR ALL THE MEAN AND VILE AND EVIL THINGS YOU DID.
IT'S ONLY BY THE GRACE OF GOD THAT I CAN SAY THAT. MY FAITH SUSTAINS ME.
EVEN THOUGH I SHARE YOUR NAME, I AM NOTHING LIKE YOU. YOU ARE GONE FROM MY LIFE,
AND NOW YOU ARE GONE FROM MY MEMORY.
EUYLESS EDWIN MILLER, JR.
Review from reader
Your poem is profoundly raw and powerful. It captures the deep and complex emotions you've experienced in your relationship with your father. The strength and resilience in your words are truly moving. Forgiving someone who has caused so much pain is an incredible act of grace and demonstrates your immense inner strength.
Thank you for sharing such a personal piece of your heart. Writing can be a transformative way to process and release emotions. Your ability to convey these intense feelings through your writing is remarkable.
Your father like my father are no longer controlling our lives and emotions. Pepper, you must be so proud of the person that you are. The road to forgiveness was a long and arduous road for me as no doubt it was for you. Wishing you and your family healing and peace.
I don’t know what the issue is but half of my reply is missing. You’re in my prayers and in my thoughts. Sending you much love and a big hug.
I am sorry for the suffering your family endured.
Your viewpoint may not be more special than anybody’s else, but your heart strings are laid out bare. I cannot relate all the wonderful reviews this piece has given me. Yours sound like you truly know what a family with an addicted child (adult) has such a heavy burden to bear. We had to walk a precarious line between being Meg’s advocate and yet not enabling her Thank you for the understanding, caring, and love you have shown in your comments.
Pepper Miller
Yeah generations of trauma and addiction. My cousin, two weeks my senior died of alcoholism at 42, my mother and two brothers were all alcoholics.. Somehow I made it! Thanks for sharing.
Thank you for your kind comment. Indeed, we all have our burdens to bear.
Pepper
Thank you for your very comforting words. I really appreciate you.
Pepper
I keep thinking of your daughter and how some people’s trauma is so severe that they don’t recover. It gives me a lot of compassion for addiction because for many its the only coping mechanism they have for their pain. It does suck for everyone around them though.
I appreciate your beautiful prose and poetry. It always makes me think and often makes my heart spill out of my eyes.
Pepper, you are stronger than you know. We unfortunately are built by very fractured histories. And those doing the fracturing are as broken as we are. You are very brave to have told this story. I support you as I can. We all do.
Be safe out there. There is always hope
Andrea, thank you for your very kind words. We all have our burdens to bear, but through our faith we seem to muddle through life.
Soon I will publish another much shorter post on how wicked my father was. Look for it, and I welcome any comments. You are a very sensitive and astute person,
Pepper Miller
Dr. Randy,
Thank you so very much for your kind words. I’ll post another shorter piece about my father soon. He was a no count SOB! Watch for it.
Pepper